Tuesday 8 July 2014

Repentance and Forgiveness

My friend Anita handed me her Swedish translation of the transcript of a seminar that was presented by Jesus in Brazil 11 August 2012: The Truth About - Repentance & Forgiveness


Thanks to Jesus that presented it, thanks to Anita and to the Law of Attraction - I finally began to work myself through it.

The realizations when reading the transcript were these:

For me to be able to repent something I did to another person, something hurtful, something that created pain within the other person - it is necessary for me to feel the pain or something like the pain I created within the other person. And for me to be able to feel how this pain feels, I must get into emotional contact with my own emotional pains of the same kind. Those pains dwell deeply within me and are hidden since long time ago, from a time when painful events were not possible or allowed to feel. And when I want to avoid the experience of these pains I chose to create similar pain in others, as revenge, as a way to feel power instead of powerlessness, as a way to avoid my own pain no matter what...

So there exists this causal emotion buried within me and my fear of experiencing the pain that it carries, and then my own unloving choices that have created the pain in my fellow man.

When I can feel the pain within myself, I will be able to understand how it must hurt within the other - and with this comes repentance. And when I truly repent with emotions of deep sadness, I will be able to receive God's forgiveness. I will be able to feel that God forgives.

The other wonderful side of this is about me forgiving the person who hurt me. This will happen when I truly feel the deeply hidden causal pain within myself. The relief when some of this pain is being released will also include that I forgive my perpetrator.

It seems like there is one important container within me for every causal emotion. When opening this container and feeling the emotion locked up within it the result points in two directions: 
  • I will be able to repent my own actions and receive God's forgiveness
  • When releasing the frozen pain within me I will be able to forgive those who have hurt me
When I started my own process to move towards repentance I found nothing. Intellectually I found lots and lots and lots... but there were no emotions connected to it, no sadness, no despair - no feeling of "...what have I done!?...". Then some memories have begun surfacing. The older ones came first, the actions I took as a child when I was mean to friends or siblings. The memories are mixed with emotional memories of being hurt myself.

So this is where I am now. This is a starting point. Point zero.

One day I will write more about it when I have had some experience.