Thursday 3 September 2015

Migration and War and Growing in Love

SVD, photo by Olivie Jobard
On the news every day now it's about the endless numbers of migrants, refugees who enter Europe. They come by boat from Libya, paying 1200 USD for a seat on an overcrowded boat, run by criminal traffickers. More than 2300 men, women and children have drowned on their way over the Mediterranean sea this year. Others come by foot, walking all the way from Syria, through Lebanon, Turkey, then by boat to Greece, walking through the Balkan countries and ending up in chaotic, tragic situations in Hungary or Austria or somewhere else. Currently more than 2,000 persons arrive only in Hungary every day. They come from Syria, Afghanistan, Somalia, Eritrea and other countries.

Germany will receive 800,000+ migrants this year, Sweden somewhere around 100,000+. Many countries protest, they don't want more migrants, they shut their borders, build fences.

What would the solution be to this problem? What would the loving way be?
To open up the borders for the migrants.
Open up safe ways to travel from the Middel East to Europe so that you don't have to pay traffickers or alternatively walk by foot with small children by your hand.
What about the possibilities to provide for oneself when finally having reached your desired destination and got the permission to stay in Europe? How do we split available workplaces so that everyone who is able has somewhere to go for a job, for an income?
Food, water and shelter free of charge? I have visioned food stores where only a basic range of food is available for free. If you have money, you could get add-ons in other stores. Farmers though, need some income to get seeds and machinery for the following season. That has to be resolved.
Shelter, somewhere to live which is warm, clean, waterproof and provides good space and good hygenic facilities - the way you and I want to live!

And what about the root cause - the violence and war that people are escaping from? How do you communicate with IS (Islamic state - terror organisation who have control over huge areas in Syria and Irak). How do you communicate with the talibans in Afghanistan, with Al-Shabab in Somalia, Boko Haram in Nigeria and others?

It's on the news every day, people talk about it everywhere, some with anger and fear, the majority with compassion and it's in my heart all the time.

For myself I can see that growing in love and truth is the only way. I can also take action to be of help and support, but I won't be able to do GOOD things without healing the ERRORS THAT LIVE IN MY SOUL. So for everyone who cares about the situation on the earth, whatever action you take never stop progressing in love and truth. I have to remind myself to question my intentions all the time, everytime I contact someone or take an action to be of some help. Many, many times I find my own hidden agenda including wanting to feel like a good person, wanting to feel like I'm being responsible, wanting people to be thankful, wanting to be noticed and get people's attention. The list feels endless (although it's not!) and so I'll just keep on working on it.

Divine Truth forum

Thanks to Nicky who created a website and a forum!

I wanted to tell you about a new forum that has been introduced. It is Nicky who has created the forum, with support from Jesus and Mary. The forum is a great place for discussions, and it upholds ethics and morals in a way that makes it a lovely place for meeting other people.

You can read about it on Mary's blog:
You find Nicky's website here:

See you there!

Friday 28 August 2015

A Small Cat Who Was Lost

This is Musse
He has lived with our family for almost 12 years
And now he is gone
Maybe some wild animal, bigger than him - killed him
Or maybe I killed him
With my soul's emotional state
I think that the latter is closer to the truth

He disappeared on Thursday 17th June
Early the same morning, at 4 am, he "knocked" on our front door and wanted to come in
I was lazy and sleepy, and annoyed being disturbed - so I didn't open
This has happened before, and then he has just showed up a little later in the morning
This time he didn't

The last time I saw him was in the morning a day earlier
He was in his armchair, waking up after a good sleep
I sat down next to him and hugged him and gave him a kiss on the forehead
He smiled, purred and stretched out one front paw to kind of hug me back
This is my last moment with him

For some weeks now, I cry my heart out every day
Memories of his love for us come to me
Memories of my own LACK OF LOVE also surface
My interaction with this beautiful and loving cat shows me everything (almost)
about myself and my childhood
about myself and my motherhood
It mirrors how my mother must have treated me when I was a small child
and it mirrors how I have treated the boy that I gave birth to
And it is all the same

In my relationship with Musse I have been self-absorbed, easily disturbed
and worrying about tidyness
I have been harsh, not being able to give tender care
Sometimes, now and then, for brief fleeting moments I have loved him
But then all the errors in my soul have taken over and a feeling of "enough" has come over me
Not being able to be close for more than short moments at a time

Jesus talks about this in the presentation of "Creating Loving Eco Systems"*.
How a person's soul condition affects animals and nature and everything around us
I feel so sad that this lovely cat had to be lost before I could feel all these emotions within me
Emotions of grief, loss and loneliness, repentance, guilt
Waves breaking over me every day, again and again
With some new flavours, from new angles
I am so sorry Musse

The truth I have heard from Jesus is that Musse is in the spirit world now
That he is perfectly happy living a wonderful cat life
and that it will be possible for me to be with him one day
in my sleep state - if he wants to be with me of course

But right now, for the time being
it is time for me to keep on feeling until all the emotions have been wept away

With my love to a small cat whose name is Musse

Tuesday 17 February 2015

Love, Integrity and Worth

Fostran Upbringing

 De gav mig skam istället för kärlek They taught me shame instead of love
De gav mig lydnad istället för integritet Obedience instead of integrity
 De gav mig yta istället för värde Facade instead of worth
Så här står jag nu So here I am
Utan kärlek Without love
Utan integritet Without integrity
Utan värde Without self worth
Jag skäms, jag lyder och jag putsar på ytan I feel ashamed, I obey and I polish the facade
MEN jag har börjat se But I have begun to see
Och jag ser vad jag har fått och vad jag saknar And I see what I’ve got and what I miss
Det jag saknar kan jag söka I can search for the parts I miss 
Det jag vet att jag saknar kan jag längta efter The parts I know I miss I can long for
Javisst ja, - jag har ju förlorat längtan med! Oh, – I have lost my longing too!
Den kan jag också söka I can also search my longing
Så jag söker So I search for
Kärlek Love
Integritet Integrity
Värde Worth
och and
Längtan Longing
Tänk när jag hittar dem…
Just think what it will be like when I find them…

Tuesday 8 July 2014

Repentance and Forgiveness

My friend Anita handed me her Swedish translation of the transcript of a seminar that was presented by Jesus in Brazil 11 August 2012: The Truth About - Repentance & Forgiveness

Thanks to Jesus that presented it, thanks to Anita and to the Law of Attraction - I finally began to work myself through it.

The realizations when reading the transcript were these:

For me to be able to repent something I did to another person, something hurtful, something that created pain within the other person - it is necessary for me to feel the pain or something like the pain I created within the other person. And for me to be able to feel how this pain feels, I must get into emotional contact with my own emotional pains of the same kind. Those pains dwell deeply within me and are hidden since long time ago, from a time when painful events were not possible or allowed to feel. And when I want to avoid the experience of these pains I chose to create similar pain in others, as revenge, as a way to feel power instead of powerlessness, as a way to avoid my own pain no matter what...

So there exists this causal emotion buried within me and my fear of experiencing the pain that it carries, and then my own unloving choices that have created the pain in my fellow man.

When I can feel the pain within myself, I will be able to understand how it must hurt within the other - and with this comes repentance. And when I truly repent with emotions of deep sadness, I will be able to receive God's forgiveness. I will be able to feel that God forgives.

The other wonderful side of this is about me forgiving the person who hurt me. This will happen when I truly feel the deeply hidden causal pain within myself. The relief when some of this pain is being released will also include that I forgive my perpetrator.

It seems like there is one important container within me for every causal emotion. When opening this container and feeling the emotion locked up within it the result points in two directions: 
  • I will be able to repent my own actions and receive God's forgiveness
  • When releasing the frozen pain within me I will be able to forgive those who have hurt me
When I started my own process to move towards repentance I found nothing. Intellectually I found lots and lots and lots... but there were no emotions connected to it, no sadness, no despair - no feeling of "...what have I done!?...". Then some memories have begun surfacing. The older ones came first, the actions I took as a child when I was mean to friends or siblings. The memories are mixed with emotional memories of being hurt myself.

So this is where I am now. This is a starting point. Point zero.

One day I will write more about it when I have had some experience.

Saturday 19 April 2014

To listen and to be heared

Dear God
This morning I wanted to write to You and talk to You
But suddenly I feel shy, I don't know what to say
There is a fear in my tummy, like when trying to get a moment with my boss and then suddenly he has time for me and smiles at me, and I can speak, tell him about my thoughts and ask my questions

When this happens, when the opportunity is there, - I don't feel important enough, 
my questions aren't significant, I am not worthy of his time
My boss' time or Your time God - it feels the same

There is sadness in my cheeks and in my chest
It is about the feeling that I have nothing important to say, 
nothing that is important enough for my boss' very valuable time, 
Dad's valuable time, Your valuable time...
Soon my boss will get tired of me, I have to hurry - talk quickly, get to the point
It is really an urgency, a golden opportunity that I should not miss
I am in the centre of attention, dad's or mom's or my boss' attention
They will soon get tired of me, they have other things to do, they don't want to wait

And I can't remember what it was I wanted to say

My strategy that became my addiction is dominance and control
As an adult I push, I want to force people to listen, force them to pay attention to me
Through loud speech, by cutting of others, making fun of them, being condescending
Also through career and positions
Positions that make people take notice of me
because I have the power, power over them, their job, their pay-check...
Whatever that would make the fear go away, the fear that they don't want to listen
The fear that they don't love me

So what is the difference with You Father? How are You as a listener?
Are You in a hurry?
No, You are never in a hurry, You have all the time in the world
You invented time, and there is an abundance of it

You wait gladly and with patience for me to come to You

Let me never cease to realise that Your Love is waiting for me, 
and, that when I come to You, 
in faith and earnest aspiration, 
Your Love will never be withheld from me”

But I still don't know what it was I wanted to say

Saturday 22 February 2014

A huge misunderstanding!

 Dear God
I have nourished a huge misunderstanding within me all of my life
I have had a feeling of being an outcast and not being included. That nobody likes and appreciates me
When the Truth is:
There are so many who have given me so much - every day!

If only I can see, if only I can feel the great things that happen around me
The last day I have received love and care from Jesus and Mary, from Paige and Kerry, from Anto and Jane; 
and from Per who calls me "Dumbum" in a very sweet way;
and also from Vann where they are very caring with our food during our stay
 I am being so kindly treated! From all directions!

My repentance will be about my own lack of kindness and loving care towards others; 
that I want to look upon myself as an outcast and constantly demand proof that I am not!
 This has made me into a very angry and demanding woman; 
 and I can never get enough; my inner emptiness can never be filled this way

Dear God, You have shown me that I am wrong in such a Loving way!
And this has happened not by the Law of Attraction making me become an outcast, 
but by embracing me even more
until I can not avoid seeing it any more!
That I am held in the arms of Love

 Dear God,
Please let me get into this today with heartfelt emotions
I can feel that I am being brought closer and closer
to my lack of gratitude and lack of humility; I can feel the regret, remorse, repentance within me
it lies just beneath the surface in my soul
Something big and beautiful will be born from within; a capacity for gratitude and repentance.
A desire go give when I have received so abundantly!
 Amen from Eva